Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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