I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
