Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
