just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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