i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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