we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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