God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize