also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
