What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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