Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
