Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize