Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
