well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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