O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize