I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My vagina just recognized that song.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
