Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
