the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
