love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
