you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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