This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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