Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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