I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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