I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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