those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I had to cum in my sink.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
