What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
