Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
