I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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