at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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