just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
