So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Actions speak louder than pants.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize