ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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