On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
