Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
