My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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