Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
