your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize