Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
