I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
