it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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