Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
