my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
