What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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