OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
