If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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