Umm I'm too high to move.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
