There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
