shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
