Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize