He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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