If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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