Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
