You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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