He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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