Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
