we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
