Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I can't turn off my feet"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
