Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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