Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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