y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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