I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
