to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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