wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
