mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
