we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
