I am puke
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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