Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
