Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
