dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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