Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
