I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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