Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
