Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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